Nice drive to work.

Every morning when I drive to work a place the homeless shelter, which happens to be right down the street from the jail that I also pass every morning. There are always stumbling dirty people up and down the road and that is what I usually notice. I think its sad, and I see no good in any of them.

This morning however I noticed something different, I don't know why I ever saw it before. Men and women, dressed in clean clothes. Men in carharts and work boots sipping coffee walking out of the shelter to a bus stop. I watched all this while the light was red, and it made me smile. Some people are just down on their luck, homeless but not hopeless. There is the optimist speaking. So we will end it there before that changes.

I think I am ok.
God it is hard.
Ouch it hurts.

Michelle! Stop crying.
Gosh I am silly.
Curl up in bed!!!!

Alone.


What a hard adjustment.

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MySpace.com: Read Bulletin

Loss of hope

Waking up to a dog's tail whipping me in the face is the perfect way to start the day. Falling asleep to sweet nothings being said to someone on the other end of the phone is a horrible way to end your evening. Especially when the sweet nothings are directed to some women that had a hand in breaking up an already broken family. Why cant people do it the right way? Not all out of order. It should be divorce then start seeing the other person. Not sneaking around fucking behind your family's back. This poor women you want to be with has no chance now. Everyone will always see her as "the other women", not Theresa that women that makes you happy. I like to think that I give people the benefit of the doubt and a fair chance, and I am sure I will here also. No one else will though and that is just what happens.

I don't want to listen to it anymore and I wish he would move out from the room next to mine. When I see him, shit when I see a lot of people it breaks my hope for a happy honest marriage. I know there are some that do work, and are happy but right now it is just so few and far between I am becoming a cynic. ME?!? One of the biggest optimists.

This makes me head hurt.

Life will be ok.

A simple lunch with a friend, at a small little box of a restaurant, with a bowl of soup large enough for 4, can make you realize life will be fine.

A Chinese dinner, with too many Mai Tai's, along with a conversation with a father, can make you realize life will be fine.

A simple complement, from a not so simple man, in a drunken haze, can make you realize life will be OK. (and to not drink so many jello shots)

A best friend, an amazing mother, who has come so far in the years, lets me know daily that life will be OK.

A call from a sister to share a recipe, changes to a chat of life and future, can make you realize that yes, it is going to be just fine.

A trip for potatoes at the store that turns in to a shopping trip for cute new panties with your mother, and the look on her face when I show her the ones I like, makes me realize that it is going to be fine.